January 2001

Jan 2001

To my dear children and (I hope) my other yet unborn children.

I have just wearily taken out my collar and unbuttoned my top shirt button after a pretty standard Sunday’s work as the pastor of this Lutheran Parish. It is the end of January 2001 and I’m writing this for you, my children, because some day you may look back on this time and wonder what went on. To be honest, things are moving so fast right now I want to write them down so I remember what went on.

The long and short of the matter is this: I am a Lutheran pastor now. In six months I have no idea what or where I will be. But I am almost certain I will be Catholic. I want to share with you some of the journey so that you understand a little bit about why I gave up what I have here to do whatever I did after that.

At the beginning of my ministry here I simply worked hard and tried hard not to mess up too much. I thoroughly enjoyed my ministry and especially the teaching side of things. I remember saying to friends “I’ve never felt so right about anything in my life.” Unfortunately, as you will discover, feeling right about something doesn’t make it right.

I guess there is a certain legitimacy in feeling right about these months since my focus was almost exclusively a ‘back to basics’ approach to teaching and preaching. I taught baptism, Eucharist, confession, and so on. All of the doctrines I taught were very close to the faith handed down by Christians for two thousand years. I was enjoying helping people and simply getting to know the faith. The only dark cloud on the horizon at that stage was that synod was looming and the vote regarding the ordination of women seemed inevitable.

I do recall struggling with my conscience over a wedding I took, since the gentleman had already been married once for a short time and had not resolve his issues, nor repented for his sins, from the first marriage. My concerns deepened when I began to study the issue of re-marriage via the LCA’s statements and exegesis of the relevant Scripture passages. Christ explicitly states that re-marriage is adultery and the Lutherans dealt with this by ignoring it and talking about grace and God giving us a second chance once we repent.

It is now 7:20AM on my day off. I’m not usually up at this time on Mondays but for this whole last week I haven’t slept well at all. Your Auntie just brought you out here (into the kitchen) because she is awake. Perhaps your mother will sleep another hour if she is fortunate enough to be undisturbed. This is a good time to talk about the house, and the property, which we are granted as pastor of this parish.

We are living right next door to the church itself. The church building is a nice Gothic Revival style building, on a small scale, seating around 90 to 100 people at a push but we only see between thirty and fifty people on any given Sunday. I also serve a smaller congregation, who worship in what was built as their church hall, (they never actually built the planned church), and there see between 15 and 25 people each week.

The old church was built in 1894 (or thereabouts) which makes it about 106 or 107 years old as I write this. A famous Lutheran architect, who also designed the manse we live in now, designed it. The church is fronted by two large palm trees and sports a lovely stain-glass window. It is lit at night but is more a splash of colour patterns than anything theological. The interior is magnificent (for the size of the church) with an excellent old polished wood altar with a white marble altar stone. Looming over the altar is an approximately two thirds life size crucifix carved from Canadian timber and facing it all from the rear of the church is a small bust of Martin Luther. The ancient pews and deep green carpet set off a very quaint and appropriate setting for Lutheran worship. The only really problem being a lack of room to move up the front.

Behind the church is the Ministry Centre, also quite old, but converted now into two small offices, a meeting area with a decent stereo, a huge TV and video, a good library (for such a small congregation) and an excellent kitchen area. In this building I give well attended Bible studies and Pastor’s classes each week. There is a larger hall on this same property with a kitchen, toilets, etc. It is attached to a small kindergarten. The congregation owns all of this.

The manse, the house we live in, is about 90 years old, (although there is an extension out back which is only 20 years old). The ceilings are 10 to 12 feet high, and are pressed metal patterns that play tricks with the light and shadow cast by the ornamental vents all through the house. The back rooms (part of the extension) have lower roofs, and these rooms are where you spend most of your time playing. The back yard is almost half shaded by a huge old oak, possibly older than the manse itself, which shades you in summer, and gives you huge piles of leaves to kick in Autumn.

I am being paid a full pastor’s salary, which is more than we have ever been paid before, but we still struggle to meet the bills due to the debt we accumulated through my seminary training. We do have a second car and lots of ‘stuff’ we don’t really need. We could probably do better if we stopped buying Cd's and books, especially theological books

I’m currently sitting under the oak tree out back watching you run, ride, and walk around the paved area here with ‘icy-poles’ in your hands. We have such a great place here you may wonder why we would consider leaving?

My job is the pastor of this Lutheran parish. I am the only employed person in the parish. There are only about a hundred families officially in my care, and I see only about sixty people regularly. Apart from the usual small problems with some people, most people here love my wife and I, and they all dote on you both. The people are receptive and appreciative of my teaching and strive to make our life and my ministry here easier. I have moved the Bible from the altar, removed individual cups, and insisted on certain respectful practices in the Eucharist for example, without any serious dispute. They have, in many ways, sought to accommodate my needs as a father and husband with my duties as parish pastor as best they could.

What I’m getting at is that I have an ideal situation here. I love the office. I love the people. I love the work. Perhaps the only thorn in the whole rosebush is the financial situation of the smaller congregation.

They are struggling, as many small congregations are. No matter, I’m still not dealing with anything unusual here. Just the same run-of-the-mill problems every pastor faces in parish ministry. My point is, nothing about this parish is forcing this decision on me.

So what has brought me here?